09.04.2016 - 09.04.2016
The morning outside couldn't be more grim. As I lean my head against the window, drops of rain hit it gently but persistently. One mere centimeter of glass separates me from them and gives me that comforting notion of safety and warmth. The bus travels steady, mile after mile, but somehow it feels that the plain fields of Poland outside are sliding in front of my sleepy eyes and I'm motionless, watching the world spin and wondering, always wondering.
They say we perceive Nature according to our state of mind. Mother Nature is always magnificent but the same view impacts us differently depending on our mood. I totally agree. Listening to Sun Kil Moon's "Salvador Sanchez" while typing and facing the gray skies above the timidly green landscape I couldn't feel more in touch with this scenario, different but so familiar. Afterall, I've been spending countless hours staring at the window inside cars, planes, buses or trains over the past decade. Often alone but never lonely.
My ipod is in shuffle, as always. It keeps surprising me and each song is a trip to some memory, some moment, some feeling or all of them combined. Now it took me far far away down memory lane with "Today" from the mighty Smashing Pumpkins. Too much to write about this song and this band but I'll just point out the irony in the lyrics opposed to the cheerful tone of the song. The mass of people don't realize it's a song about contemplating suicide while singing out loud "today is the greatest day I've ever known, can't wait for tomorrow, tomorrow's much too long". This reminds me of a night in Porto when I was in a Peter Hook (from Joy Division) concert circa 2009 or 2010 and everyone was singing in unison "Love will tear us apart" with a smile and their faces covered with ignorant happiness. At the time, I thought of Ian Curtis, the iconic leader of Joy Division who suicided in 1980, and how he was probably revolving in his grave, seeing people being complete unaware of the depth and emotional weight of his lyrics and music. I'm probably sounding pretentious but I swear I'm not. I just have the utmost respect for music and artists that genuinely create and express themselves, allowing us to enter their worlds. It's a gift for us, normal people, to have the chance to penetrate the mind of a genius and most people just don't take that chance, they just focus on the surface and don't dig deeper.
Some more songs played but I didn't noticed them until this one: "Yasmin the light" from Explosions in Sky. The song has no lyrics so I will also not write about it. If you are still reading this, go and listen to it, I'll let you discover it and perhaps you'll be transported to some realm of beauty. That's where my mind is right now, flying high with all the wonderfulness of this world.
"Change" from Blind Melon. Shannon Hoon. Another fallen charismatic soul in 1995. This simple song says a lot and everyone should listen to it and never forget the lyrics.
Okay, I have still like 5h to go so I can't continue sharing all the songs I'm listening. I don't want to bore people to death. I just noticed that I wanted to write about other stuff but one song completely shifted my line of thought towards another direction. I wrote and wrote but many paragraphs later I'm still at the starting point.
So where were we? Outside I see the same grey sky and endless fields. Nothing seemed to have changed but I'm closer. Closer to Berlin. Yes, Berlin again. My third home. Berlin is special, everyone knows that. But I like to think that Berlin is special just to me, a secret that must be whispered only into the ears of those who are ready to fully understand the magic of that city, beyond all the hype that it attracted in the past years.
I'll be in Berlin for only 24h. Will spend a total of 16h travelling from and to Warsaw. What for? To see A Place to Bury Strangers. Yes, I wrote about them when I arrived in Warsaw. Over the past 3 years they became like some sort of sonic drug to me and later today I'm gonna get my dose. The year is 2016 but I feel like I'm a teenager going to his first gig. It's so good to keep such feelings inside us while seeing years float by.
This is what music means to me. A constant search for those moments of perfection. I put no limits or boundaries in that endless quest. I never get tired nor I will ever get too old to pursue and reach the absolute majesty of a live concert. Music will exist without me but I cannot exist without music. (I know, kind of a cheesy cliché).
The day is gray but I couldn't be happier. I have been refraining myself from writing here about my last couple of months for several reasons. But I think the most important is that I don't want to sound like I'm bragging about my life or trying to convince others that all worked out in order to prove some kind of point.
Also, my limited literary skills don't allow me to adequately express the vast range of experiences and emotions that have invaded my being since I moved to Warsaw. I prefer instead to let them just happen and exist in me, without the need to share it with the wider world.
I feel complete. And I wish that for everyone on this planet of ours. A vertical approach to life, trying to limit our egos and selfishness. Embracing the others with nothing but pure intentions. A constant search for the things that make us sparkle. Never surrendering, never giving up. And last but not least, always remembering that we all die eventually and the key to a happy life is to focus on the little things, the little pleasures rather than in the big scheme of things.
Life is here, RIGHT NOW. Don't miss it. There is no second chance. (The obvious clichés continue).
The sun slowly starts to show up but I need to end this post with a reference to Pavement's "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain". This album is a masterpiece. A classic 90s sound. Songs like "Elevate me later", "Silence Kit" and "Gold Soundz" will certainly make you feel like jumping like a teenager in pure ecstasy and maybe remember those simpler times without smartphones in concerts where people would gather in front of a stage to be part of a unique and fleeting experience. I guess that back then people were aware of the urgency of the moment and lived it intensively. That's so gone nowadays and few people actually seem to notice it and abide by the unwritten rule that says that the only thing that is real is the present moment. An endless roller coaster of moments. Happening. Gone. Happening. Gone. Happening. Gone....
I'm gone for now as well. Love to all.
PS. The irony of this is that I'm writing these words on a smartphone.