Part II - the wonderful world of "now"
To read part I click here: http://1dream1000ways.travellerspoint.com/56/
Life is a journey right? We hear that a lot, but what does it really mean to each and every one of us? What kind of journey? How to experience that journey? Where to go and what do we want to reach with that journey?
I think that we all ought to take some time in our lives to ask ourselves those questions and try to find some answers. There are no definite answers though. Or there shouldn't be any definite answers. Life is a journey that needs constant reorientation. In fact, I believe that with all the social conditioning around us from the day we are born, the more you need to reorientate yourself the better life gets. Nonetheless what's really important is that each one of us gets satisfied with the answers to our own questions. The important thing is to question ourselves. Always.
I guide my life without any plan, without a compass. I can't see far ahead. I don't want to. I don't sacrifice the present for any preconceived idea I might have of my future. Some might say this is reckless and dangerous. I shall remark that I don't mean to say this is the best way to go through life. I just think it's the only one that suits me.
I always liked this notion of "resolute urgency of now". I first heard it in a Smashing Pumpkins song, "Tonight, Tonight", when I was 12. Recently I discovered that Martin Luther King used it before ("the fierce urgency of now") in his famous "I Have a Dream" speech to urge people to act and fight for their rights. In 2015 however, as much as I think that there's also a pungent need for us to act collectively and change our western society, I'm more focused in exploring the "resolute urgency of now" on an individual and spiritual level. The "now" is the only tangible moment we have in life. We can actually touch, feel and experience the "now". So many people forget the importance of the "now", of the moment. Maybe it's easy to forget that while being swallowed by the strong, vicious current of everyday life. That same current that drags you, that beats you down silently and unnoticeably, day in and day out.
Recently I made some drastic decisions based on the answers I got from asking the questions I mentioned above. Some things in my life stopped making sense and was time to once again turn my life upside down and embrace the unknown. When you embrace the unknown you behold a plethora of choices and opportunities. You can turn to every direction, you can pursue any idea, you simply become free. And as soon you become free you can immerse yourself in the wonderful world of "now" and live it fully and intensively.
Which brings me to last Monday night in London, where I attended a concert from Caspian in a place called The Dome, in Tufnell Park. I have a genuine admiration for these guys and I'm lucky enough to have been part of a kind of a music experiment they made some months ago. Standing very close to the stage and lost in the middle of the crowd I was expecting a good concert and was curious to hear the new songs live. I wasn't that introspective or anything, I was in a light mood and really enjoying the place.
However, as soon as they started playing the 3rd song and from then on, my mind was transported to higher grounds and i was bursting with happiness. The past years unfolding vividly in my mind, the people, the places, everything. As those guys created sonic beauty I relived a thousand moments and I smiled. There I was, alone in the middle of the crowd, lost in this world. In that moment, nothing else mattered. There was no other place to be, no other life to live. I was home. And suddenly, closer to the end of the setlist, these words echoed in the room as if they were being said only to me:
I have read one book from Bukowski before and knew his life story and hype but wasn't so curious about him and didn't know this poem. But that's the thing with art: sometimes it seems like the universe aligns and that song, book, movie, just some words or whatever you never paid proper attention before become quintessential in your life. It takes the right moment and the adequate mood to completely absorb its meaning. In that moment I literally felt I was completely alone in a bubble of epiphany, my mind exploding with answers and revelations. It was beautiful and unforgettable.
That's my "now". Being 32 and still keeping a sense of wonder, a sense of discovery. It's not about being immature and trying to be young. It's about never stop searching for answers. It's about not giving up in trying to live the life I want to live. It's about staying true to my beliefs and dreams. It's about being a whole person both in victory and defeat. It's about (and I have to quote Bukowski here) "riding life straight to perfect laughter, it's the only good fight there is".
Next Sunday, the 15th, I arrive in Warsaw, Poland. That's all I know. And that's the best thing I could ask for. Godspeed.